5.31.2013

Things I can do.

The other day I posted about the things that I can't do. I mean, who can really walk well in heels? So in good fashion, I thought I would toot my own horn for a little bit so you all didn't think that I was a a total mess.

So without futher small talk, things that I can do:

Read magazines like it's my job. I am obsessed with weeklies. When I used to work at the salon I would make sure that I stole the People before the cute old ladies came in for their rollersets.

Sing. Not many people know that about me, but I do sing. I even won a karaoke contest in college. I sang Lady Maramalade with my roommate and my neighbor. (Yay free food and walmart giftcard!)
Fun fact: I can rap. Boom.

The Cupid Shuffle. It's easy, mostly because he says what you're supposed to do. I mentioned that in my last post. This could be my favorite wedding dance faux pax song.

Adopt cats. Currently I have two. If Beardy wasn't around, I would have two million. Plus a five dogs, a giraffe and an minature horse. (You think I'm kidding...)


For all you Warhol lovers out there... Such a handsome kitten.
 
Overpack. I am the queen at this. I may be leaving for a weekend, but who knows if I will need 12 sundresses? Be prepared. That's my motto.
 
Quote every episode of The OC. (RIP)


Do my makeup in the car. Obvi while someone else is driving, I ain't that talented.
 
Order food like a pro. I am very picky. Like picky like Sally from When Harry Met Sally picky.
 
Is there things that you're good at?
 
Oh, it's #backthatazzupfriday!
 
Clearly, you need to check out the style that also goes along with this gem. (Give it to me...)
Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...
 
 
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5.30.2013

fake it till you make it.

Lately, I have been having this dilemma about knock off items. Whether it be purses, sunglasses, wallets, even iPhone cases.
 
Why do you ask? 
First, while obessing over "What's in my Bag" videos on youtube, I found this girl that could be my kindered spirit animal. (We would be cats, just FYI.) Her name is Kendall. She is a beauty vlogger over on youtube.
 
 
A couple days ago she had a video showcasing a brand of knock off LV's and MK's. (Louis Vuitton and Michael Kors to all the non-fashiony people out there...)
 
Now here's the thing. The LV's looked pretty legit.
I am one who saves up all of her money to buy that perfect bag. (And by save up all her money I mean that I buy it on hella sale...)
 
My first Marc Jacobs was a wristlet that was $50.00 from the MJ store in Vegas. My second one was from a friend who didn't want hers anymore.
 
I have always wanted an LV for my own and I can't justify spending more than I would on rent....or a car for that matter.
 
So there is my dilemma. Do I buy a knock off that looks pretty legit for $35.00 or do I save my pennies and use my wedding money  hard earned cash from when I get a big girl job?

I always believed that having a knock off was bad juju...so now I am not sure.
I am pretty sure my fake would be spotted and go down like Sam with her "Frada" on SATC.
 
Would you buy knock off? Or do you not care of the label?
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5.27.2013

Things I can't do.

Who is working on Memorial Day? (this girl.) Eh, only a year of working part-time jobs and then I put my big girl pants on and get a job in my related field (see: Comm=can do anything.)

Now, I am not coordinated and I also am kind of klutzy.  I mean, mostly everyone know this about me but I really can't...

Walk in heels. I am worse than JLaw at the Oscars. I literally look like a baby giraffe.
When I asked about heels for the wedding on twitter, I realized that I probably will be in flats because I really don't wanna biff it down the aisle. Which would happen.


Paint my nails on my left hand. I just can't. I rather have naked nails. I also don't have the patience to sit an wait for them to dry.

Cook. Beardy does all the cooking usually. I cooked ranch chicken once and burned it when Beardy's brother was in town...they both ate it. Such nice boys.

Curl my hair with a flat iron. The left side always looks like I put my finger in a light socket. It never turns out like LC's.


Line dance. Beardy tried to teach me this the night we first met and after trying for about 10 minutes, I sat down on the floor and said nope! Not learning! Still to this day I can't line dance. I can Cupid Shuffle. That counts for something, right?

Drive and eat at the same time. It just isn't possible for me. I am not coordinated. (I can't walk and chew gum at the same time either.) 

Color my own hair.  This is probably why I worked in salons so long. First of all, don't box color yer hair. Just don't. You will regret it and you will cry. I have seen a lot of girls come in with green tinged hair trying to become ombre...

Run. I end up looking a lot like Phoebe from Friends. This may be why people won't work out with me. 


Along those same lines, I also cannot hike. Ew. I am not an outdoorsy girl at all. Shopping is my cardio. 

Are there things that you can't do?
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5.20.2013

10 things I learned while I was 25...

GOD, I am old. This weekend I turned 26. My birthday was less than stellar, but I assume that's how birthdays are after you turn 21 amiright?



1. Friends are hard to find. Is it weird that my friends that genuinely worry about me live over 500 miles away? Thank God for Beardy.

2. Don't be jealous. Just don't. All that gets you is a week of being cut off from all social media. (Per the therapist!)

3. It's okay to ask for help, usually, most of the time you will get it.

4. Being 25 and engaged in college sucks. You have nothing in common with the general population. I am guessing being 26 and engaged also sucks too, right? Here's to the last year of college!

5. You will find out that finally after 4 years of being engaged, it still is hell planning your wedding.

6. Downtown is overrated.

7. Drugstore makeup is just as good as high end brand... except for mascara.

8. Working your "dream job" really isn't your dream job.

9. Being a poor college student does suck.

10. Taking shots with your bosses at work is fun.

I really didn't learn much this year, but hopefully next year I will be full of wisdom...or something.

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5.10.2013

I can never commit.

About a week ago I decided to join that link up that everyone and the blog world is doing right now. I was going strong for about the first four days and then.... crickets.

Let's take a look at what else I said I would do and never completed shall we?

Dieting. I used to be master of this in high school but now, if I want a cheeseburger, I eat that damn cheeseburger. (See also: me hating my arms in my wedding dress.)

Learning to knit. I tried it for a day, it was relaxing, but realized I don't have time to do that. So there sits a half (okay, a row or two) done scarf in my closet.

P90X. Why is Tony so mean!? Its like he doesn't love me!

Reading Harry Potter/Twilight. I just can't. Ugh.

Reading the last installment of Hunger Games. I still don't know what happened. I told Beardy to give me the 2 min version. He told me to finish reading it. I took it back to the library.

Statistics. This is one bitch that I will have to actually finish if I wanna see my cute 27 year old ass walk across that damn stage with an actual diploma. So, stay tuned for that one. (Sorry for the swearz, talking about Stats makes me hate the person who invented Math. Cady Heron, yes, math is the same in all the countries, but bitch please... it's hard.)

Plan a wedding. You all know that Beardy and I just celebrated 4 years the other day right? Well, we've been together almost 5, so what is 4 you may ask? Engagment. Yep. 4 years ago Beardy took me up in the fake Eiffel Tower in Vegas and proposed. I promise I will finish this task. It just may take another year.

Oh, I am also linking up with that hot bish Whitty today.
 
Who let me listen to this song when I was younger?? I mean...seriously.
 
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5.04.2013

Day 4: Quote me on this one.


The other day at school, I was feeling a little defeated and sad. When I walked into the building, these were everywhere....on the bulletin boards, in the bathroom stalls, on the mirrors...everywhere. This quote now sticks out to me more than ever: 

"You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem, 
and smarter than you think."
-Winnie The Pooh

I still don't know who posted this all over my campus, but it probably kept me from quitting school. So, thank you, person with nice handwriting.

Think about it next time you tell yourself that you're stupid. Because really, you don't give yourself enough credit. 
Until tomorrow,
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5.03.2013

Day Three: Uncomfortable things.

I hate being uncomfortable. Haaaate. Things that will make me squirm are random, I know, but you love me so it's okay.

  • Elevator rides. Ever since getting my job in the building with the highest floor, I loathe riding in elevators. No, I don't want to make small talk with you while we go down in the slowest elevator everrrr. 
  • Sex scenes. So AWK. It all started with Titanic in the theatres with my mom. I still can't watch Leo with her. 
  • Sitting next to a person in a waiting room. I am really anti-social.
  • Group projects. I am still in college and I don't want to get to know my classmates (I swear I really am not anti-social...) I want to get done with the class and get out. Bing bang boom. 
  • Russel Brand
  • Amanda Bynes circa now. No. Just NO. 
  • The show OFF PITCH on VH1. Yes, it is set in my hometown, but omg, how...scripted. I will keep watching just to support La Crosse. It's mildly entertaining. 
  • Animals in clothes.
  • Oh, and that chick that plays Fat Amy. I just don't get it. 
I could go on for days. I won't for your sake. What makes you uncomfortable?


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5.02.2013

Day einem oder zwei #blogeverydayinmay

Hi kittens. 
I just finished a bitch of a paper so I figured I would jump into this link-up. I hate not being included. (srsly.) So let's get to it! 

Day one: Story of My Life

I was born May of 1987. (Holla to best month evaaa!) I am the oldest of three. I grew up on a farm filled with sheepdogs, cats, horses and cows. My grandparents lived next door.


My dad walked out on my family when I was 13. Later that year, my grandma died. That was the single hardest year of my life. I also ended up in rehab for cutting. I am a recovering self-harmer. In high school I immersed myself in theater and designed the makeup for my senior year play. I went to college in Rockford and ended up in San Francisco for fashion. That same year I ended up on the West coast, I met Beardy, my fiancee. (Beardy is not his real name, obvi.) We got engaged on the fake Eiffel Tower 8 months after we met. That was 4 years ago May 8. (Not rushing marriage, duh...) But seriously, he is my rock. I'm still in school, but in Wisconsin. (Second best school in the state...actually...)  I will finish next May with a degree in Communication with an emphasis in Organizational Communication. You best believe I will dance across the stage. That's my life in a nutshell. Along the way I also fell in love with the Backstreet Boys and toured with a rando band from Florida. But that's another story.

Day 2: What I am good at
  •  Recall gossip from magazines at a drop of a hat
  •  Rolling my tongue
  •  Useless information about TV, Movies, and random facts
  •  Collecting Babysitter Club Books
  •  Duckfaces while drunk

Both of these pics are circa 2007-2006. 
Who are we kidding, I don't have time to drink anymore.


  • Drive insanely fast
  • Parallel park 
  • Rap all of Summer Girls by LFO
  • Staying in school as long as Van Wilder
All kidding aside, I am really good at rapping Summer Girls. Maybe I should make a video. (Ha, um no.) 
Over and out until tomorrow.
Baiii. 

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