Waterproof Mascara=friend

Dear Miss Wisconsin,

SO excited that you won Miss America, you made the worst weekend of the year a little more easier to handle. But WHY didn't you put on waterproof mascara?! Every Cosmo girl knows that when you have an event (re: wedding, Miss America pageant) you NEED to wear waterproof mascara otherwise you will look like this on national television:

This is unacceptable. But congrats on the title and I hope Aaron Rogers calls you. For the Miss Universe pageant make sure you stock up on this bad boy:

Your raccoon'd eyes will thank me.


PS: You are gorgeous and I am SO happy that you are repp'in Wisco, at least you didn't choke in a playoff game.


  1. Lols, exactly. I was thinking...isn't waterproof mascara at least the third rule of beauty pageants, after big hair and taped boobs?

  2. BAaaaaahahahah! you crack me up.

  3. Oh dear. That is going to haunt her. Although, it was probably a calculated move. She knew it would get her talked about...and she was right! (Yes, cynical *is* my middle name!)

  4. You crack me up! I was thinking the same thing as she got crowned - and she is probably more embarrassed than we know! Can you imagine looking at those pics later and realizing that THAT is what you looked like? What a fail :)