{Disclaimer: This is a touchy subject, but I needed to rant about it. So, if this is going to piss you off in anyway, X out right now. Kthx.}

Hi, how are ya? I have been sick and definitely am ready to be back in the well-ship with everyone else... but I had time to get caught up on my blog roll, which was overflowing with posts... but one thing gets me every time I read it is posts about how fat {you} are... I just read a post about a girl that is trying to get her body skinny so she looks good in a wedding dress...guess how much she weighs? 

131. And she's tall. 

This gets to me. This is why I don't do OOTD posts because I am about 230 right now. YEP. I have never been at 130, but I imagine that I'd be skinnier than this:

This is me at my lightest weight: I was a size 8 and weight about 140.

This is me now, well actually my heaviest (during summer):

I don't get how you can be so hard on yourself, thinking that you are fat at 130. I won't even get into a two piece because of the judging bishes on the beach. I have heard the snickering and heard "cow" muttered under mean boys breath in high school. You just want people to say that you're beautiful and need an ego boost. I am just floored that people especially skinny girls that gained {gasp!} 20 lbs since high school need to come out and say OMG I AM SO FAT EW I HATE MYSELF...

Now, I am probably just bitter because I don't look like that {first photo} but that was with working out every single day for 2 hours and I was very sick. If that's what it takes to be happy in my skin again, I'd rather be what you skinny bishs think is "fat."

Phew. I feel better now.


  1. It's hard to explain. And honestly, I didn't realize that I WASN'T fat at 120 lbs until I gained more weight (not that I'm fat now...I think I'm fat for ME, because I've always been a different weight/size/shape and after the surgeries/miscarriage, it all changed) and now, when I look back on the photos of when I thought I was fat, I'm like, "really?"

    My "really?" at myself is more from the fact that I spent so much time, so many years, feeling so insecure and unhappy about my body and trying to obtain perfection by working out, which honestly will never happen because models are AIRBRUSHED, but you know. But it didn't matter what I weigh. I wasn't ever good enough for me. And I think that's how most women feel about themselves. If you don't like the way you look/feel/weigh, change it. It's in your power. I think all women should do this, and support each other in feeling more secure with themselves, at whatever weight. Because weight has nothing to do with insecurity. Trust me.

  2. I am all for people working on being healthy but the amount that some people discuss their weight (IRL, on twitter, blogs, etc) is totally unhealthy. It kills me to see smart, educated, BEAUTIFUL women beating themselves up because they think they're fat. If you want to be HEALTHY (note that I didn't say skinny), eat whole foods, work out, and be happy. Are you really going to be HAPPY starving yourself and doing the freaking master cleanse? Probably not.

    I'll admit that I'm not happy with my body right now - not because I think I am fat, but because I don't make the effort to eat what I know is good for me and I don't work out like I should. But I'm not going to complain about it because it's a conscious choice that I make by not putting in the time/energy to live a healthier life. Does that make sense?

  3. I feel ya girl. I'm 5'5" and 135 is my GOAL weight. I don't understand how girls taller than me want to be even skinnier than that. Is the goal to get as close to 100 pounds as possible, or like wtf? Whatever. I don't think she's to blame though.. I think society is and how badly we all want to measure up, especially when you got wedding on the brain. It's a psychological game we play, just like we do in our every day lives. We always want to be better or stress over stupid shit because of all this pressure... but when does it stop? Probably when we realize we are good enough the way we are. I sometimes catch myself getting jealous over people's bodies for a bit and then I ask myself, "Do I want to put in the effort to have that?" and it's always no. I'll never be a fitness junkie... and never will be an obsessive dieter... I'd rather just be me.

  4. Totally understand you! I had a baby a month ago and of course I am already starting to sweat the getting baby weight off even though its only been a month. We judge ourselves soo harshly!!

  5. Girls, you all are awesome for reading this and giving me such amazing feedback. I totally understand each of your points. :)